


Unfit for Each Other

by grossnoona



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Jealousy, Multi, Neglect, One-Sided Relationship, There's no happy ending just a heads up, This is just one big bag of terrible r/s so I'm sorry in advance, ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:21:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26373367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grossnoona/pseuds/grossnoona
Summary: Relapse after relapse.Hisoka finds himself lost in thought as he thinks about how he feels about the sight of others touching Azuma. What an embarrassment.Hisoka can’t hold back this jealousy from spilling over. Why is he so bad at holding himself back?Why can’t he be normal and accepting like the rest?Azuma will always say that.Is it really normal, though?
Relationships: Arisugawa Homare/Yukishiro Azuma, Furuichi Sakyou/Yukishiro Azuma, Guy/Yukishiro Azuma, Mikage Hisoka/Yukishiro Azuma, Settsu Banri/Yukishiro Azuma, Takatoo Tasuku/Yukishiro Azuma, Utsuki Chikage/Yukishiro Azuma
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7





	Unfit for Each Other

**Author's Note:**

> (grabs mic) grossnoona here and I have come back w smth terrible  
> If you haven't noticed but I have been on a roll in being cruel (aren't you always) you're right  
> besides the point, I had this idea tucked under my pillow for a long time bc it's just a terrible idea and an actual insult to ppl imo so I formally apologise for this disaster  
> I only chose Hisoka's pov bc it was easier for things to fold this way  
> Had it been someone else's, I think it wouldn't turn out as fun as this haha;;  
> Anyway!! I hope you enjoy!!

What a funny situation to be, Hisoka wants to laugh. This is such a pathetic situation to be in.

No wonder August used to call  _ love _ , the  _ worst _ reaction your body can give you. Did he mean it poetically or seriously? Hisoka will never know. He doesn’t actually want to know. August will probably give an ambiguous answer that Hisoka can’t understand. It’ll surely just lead to Hisoka giving up in figuring his words out and consider just going to bed instead.

Well, at least August’s ambiguous answers can be slept off.

_ This? This can’t be slept off at all. _

No matter how hard Hisoka tries, he just  **_can’t_ ** .

It’s not good to be bothered. It’s not good to question. He knows. He tries his best to not be bothered or feel the need to question.  _ Yet _ , he can’t help it.

After all, the one Azuma likes is Hisoka…  _ Right? _

Hisoka wouldn’t want to question the sight laid before him. After all, Sakyo and him are  _ just friends _ . You’re bound to get  _ a little _ touchy with your friend when you’ve known them for a long while, are comfortable with them,  _ and live in the same house as them _ . This is perfectly normal and acceptable for friends to do, right?

Then why? Why is the way Sakyo’s hand rests comfortably on Azuma’s waist bothering Hisoka?

It’s normal. That’s normal. Some friends do that. Right? After all, Azuma has probably had  _ tons of friends and clients _ who have held Azuma like that so why feel selfish? This is normal. It  _ should be _ normal for Hisoka. Yet, he can’t accept this norm.

_ If anything, he  _ **_despises_ ** _ it. _

_ What’s so good about you, anyway? _ ―Sakyo doesn’t have much of an appeal. He talks a lot but nothing good ever comes out, to be honest. Nothing but a money grabber. What is his appeal? His height? He’s tall but he isn’t  _ that _ tall. Nothing that’s worth noting. His voice? Pretty sure there are other members in Mankai with better voices. Hisoka can’t find his appeal at all. What is so good about Sakyo? Hey, why won’t you tell Hisoka? He’s kind of curious too, you know?

Hisoka wants to know what makes Sakyo better than Hisoka. Does Azuma like Hisoka more than Sakyo? Hisoka wants to know. Hisoka is Azuma’s favourite, right? If so, why would Azuma let Sakyo hold him like that? Didn’t Azuma mention how only Hisoka can be selfish with him?

Hisoka doesn’t want to sound rude but it sure doesn’t look like Azuma has been saying that to Hisoka  _ only. _

Outside of Hisoka and Sakyo, there’s  _ definitely _ someone else who has been told to be as selfish as he wants with Azuma. Someone Hisoka feels like he is teetering the line between liking and disliking him.

Tasuku―Seriously, what is  _ his _ appeal? Is Azuma into heated arguments and having sex as a way to reconcile? Maybe he’s into the whole  _ father-aura _ thing? God knows. Sure, they get along better than before but haven’t they been getting along _ too well? _ Hisoka gets pretty annoyed how Tasuku is Azuma’s  _ go-to _ guy. Tasuku, let’s do this together. Tasuku, let’s do that together. Really, what is so great about this one? Maybe Azuma is into love-hate relationships. Maybe. Hisoka doesn’t really want to figure it out.  _ He really doesn’t _ .

Though, can Hisoka really say such awful things about someone he likes? No, that’s not the right question to ask himself.  _ Should _ Hisoka be saying such awful things about someone he likes? At this point, it’s hard not to. It really is.

Tasuku and Azuma are just friends, Azuma always says that. Then why the hell is he always the one that takes you out, huh? Why is Tasuku  _ the first person _ Azuma thinks about when he needs to clear his thoughts with a drive?

Is it  _ really _ just a drive?

Sure, Azuma will quickly brush it off as nothing. They’re friends. Friends can drive each other to places and help them during their low moments. After all, that’s what friends do, right? Help each other out whenever they can. Hisoka knows that. Yet, still, he can’t accept it. No matter how much Azuma mentions that Tasuku’s type is  _ different _ or Tasuku is interested in  _ someone else _ , it all just comes off as useless blabber. Something for Hisoka to tune it out as his brain wanders off to other better reasons to stay awake.

Maybe he’s using Tasuku and Sakyo as a sense of relief.

Hisoka doesn’t want to question it so much. It’ll just twist his idea of Azuma. He doesn’t want to ruin that pretty and pristine image he has of Azuma. He doesn’t want to at all. Azuma is pretty, nice, and everything Hisoka likes in a person. At least, he  _ thinks _ Azuma is like that.

A part of him feels like that image is crumbling, as he speaks.

Hisoka is starting to doubt _that image_ is  _ even real _ . Talk about a reality check. Is it Azuma or Hisoka that needs a reality check? Maybe both. Though, it mainly feels like Hisoka. After all, he’s the one who decided to fall for  _ that _ image of Azuma. Maybe he’s not in love with Azuma  _ at all _ . Though, can he really say that?

The feeling of Azuma brushing his cheeks against Hisoka as they cuddle close in bed, it’s hard to not feel his heart flutter. Moments like these―Hisoka wants them to remain like this forever. Stay here. Be next to Hisoka. Don’t look at anything else. Just look at Hisoka. Hug Hisoka like this. Just as tight as Hisoka. Make it feel like Azuma wants Hisoka just as much as he wants Azuma. Make everything feel real, just for a small minute.

_ That’s all Hisoka needs to forgive Azuma. _

At least, until Hisoka hears Azuma’s laugh alongside someone else’s.

_ Ah. _

Azuma is into younger guys too, right? Of course, he is. He’s probably the type to be with anyone, as long as they can give the attention that Azuma wants. Brats like Banri strive off of that attention. Hisoka can tell. Banri is enjoying himself.  _ A whole lot _ .

Banri is different from the first two, though. Banri may act like a know-it-all and pretends to be older, he’s still a kid. He’ll happily follow Azuma’s orders in a way that the older guys can’t. He can act cute if Azuma asks him too. He can play excitedly and be Azuma’s  _ favourite _ puppy. Azuma adores it. Oh, he most definitely does.

The sight of them laughing at the courtyard with their hair splayed against the grass, talking about something Hisoka isn’t entirely interested in―Why does it annoy Hisoka? Can’t he get over himself for five seconds and realise that not every waking minute of Azuma interacting with someone else that isn’t Hisoka, is Azuma trying to cheat on him? After all, Azuma said it himself, right? Hisoka is just worried about nothing. Friends are friends. Hisoka is more than that. Hisoka is  _ different _ .

_ Or Azuma says so. _

How many friends get to touch and play with Azuma like that? Hisoka doesn’t really want to know, to be honest. His patience is wearing thin.

Tasuku, Sakyo, Banri, Guy, Homare, and just  _ so many others _ ―Being Azuma’s favourite has just become a lie to keep Hisoka at bay. It’s honestly embarrassing. Just how many times will Hisoka’s poor heart forgive Azuma? Stop being so goddamn embarrassing.

Really, August was right―Hisoka is too pure for these kinds of things.

Frankly, Hisoka is amazed by how open-minded Azuma is when it comes to  _ being overly friendly _ to others. It doesn’t matter who they are, what kind of connections they have with others or anything; all that matters is they can do whatever Azuma asks them to do. After all, that’s all that matters, right? As long as you can satisfy Azuma, nothing else should matter.

Though Hisoka might admit, this is  **_bold_ ** .

Chikage handing Azuma a bouquet of white lilies, Hisoka might choke in disgust. He doesn’t because he doesn’t want to cause a scene. It’s not helping that the bouquet reminds Hisoka of a wedding.  _ Gross _ . The idea of a marriage between Chikage and Azuma? That won’t last long  _ at all. _

The white lilies suit Azuma, a whole lot. They’re beautiful next to him but it’s hard to feel over the moon when it’s not Hisoka who gave him those flowers. It’s  _ Chikage _ . It can’t be helped that Hisoka feels like this is a jab at him for being so bad at buying gifts, Hisoka might consider hiding all of his favourite spices later or replace his favourite spicy snacks with  _ extremely sweet ones _ . Die, won’t you? Hisoka doesn’t like the statement Chikage is making with such public gifting.

Hisoka gives Chikage a look― _ I’m not the only one you’re waging with war, aren’t I? _

How scary. Hisoka really is in a pinch. One that he doesn’t want to be in.  _ At all _ .

Get him out of here. He might die if he were to fight tooth and nail with others for Azuma. Him against those burly brats? No way is he going to win. His fighting skills and stamina can only take him so far. Especially when Chikage is involved. No way is he going to win. As unfortunate as it seems for Hisoka.

Though he says all of that, what makes him think that he isn’t stupid enough to try? Hisoka knows he’ll try to win Azuma’s heart, even if it’s at the expense of the relationships he has with those involved.

  
  
  


_ Huh. _

  
  
  


_ Even if it’s at the expense of the relationship he has with those involved…? _

  
  
  


_ Will Hisoka seriously do that? _

  
  
  


Is Azuma seriously worth more than that? Hisoka wonders. Is everyone willing to get into a fight over someone and endanger the company like that? Surely, Izumi won’t let them. If anything, she might call this utter bullshit. Not to mention, it would be a definite pity for Tsumugi who seems to have little to no involvement at all. Funny, Hisoka thought. Tsumugi and Azuma have flirted with each other but why did it stop? Hisoka wondered as he stared at Tsumugi who seemed content with being next to Itaru and Citron, discussing something. It doesn’t necessarily matter to Hisoka but the sight of Tsumugi happily discussing something with others, it’s almost relieving to see. How strange.

To be in that position, Hisoka wonders how relaxing it must be. Though Hisoka thinks the idea of being away from Azuma for a minute fondly, it’s unlikely Hisoka will let go of Azuma that easily. Hisoka is more fond of his time with Azuma alone than being away from Azuma. Despite how limited it is.

It’s always once in a while.

Maybe once in a week.

Always a weekday. Tuesday to be exact. That’s  _ Hisoka’s day _ .

Typically, Hisoka would look forward to Tuesdays. That’s the only day Hisoka has Azuma all to himself. Tasuku would have a meeting to attend for a guest starring role. Sakyo would be busy with work. So will Chikage and Homare. Banri is at school. No one is at home. Just Hisoka and Azuma. They can do whatever they want. There’s nothing to worry about.

At least,  _ that’s how he’s supposed to feel _ .

Today, Hisoka isn’t looking forward to being left alone with Azuma. Why is that? Is it because that question is hanging heavily above his head? The want for Azuma to clarify himself? The want to hear Azuma say  _ he’s sorry _ ? That kind of thing won’t happen. Hisoka should know that. Don’t fool yourself.

Hisoka should know Azuma won’t apologise. Hisoka knows Azuma won’t fess up that what he’s doing is terrible. He won’t because what will he gain from stopping this kind of act?  _ Nothing _ .

There’s nothing for Azuma to gain if he fesses up about how terrible this is. All he’ll receive is Hisoka being a little bitch. That’s all he’ll get. Surely, Azuma would just decide Hisoka is not worth keeping. Does it hurt thinking about it? A part of Hisoka wants to cry while another part of him can’t feel a single thing anymore.

_ How scary _ .

The way Azuma threads his hand amongst Hisoka’s, it really feels gross. How funny. Hisoka is slowly feeling grossed out by this relationship. Hisoka is slowly feeling like he’s just nothing but a useless worn-out toy, Azuma is catching up to those feelings that Hisoka has been trying to shut away. That look Azuma gives him, it’s filled with disappointment and sadness. The two of them can’t keep this up anymore.

_ How sad _ .

Is this what this relationship has become? Hisoka is tired of accepting Azuma’s excuses about the relationships with others. Azuma is tired of Hisoka’s squawking about how unloved he feels when he’s left alone like this. If others can handle it, why can’t you? They’re just friends. There’s no need for Hisoka to worry. Just how many times does Azuma have to say it? Why can’t it go through Hisoka’s head? Azuma doesn’t understand what is so hard for Hisoka to accept?

“Because it feels like you’re cheating, that’s what makes it hard for me to accept it.”

Friends are friends. Lovers are lovers. That’s what Azuma always says but his hands do different things. His hands want different things. Azuma wants his friends to be more than friends. Azuma wants more than just one lover. Hisoka can tell. Don’t think Hisoka doesn’t know how many people have left marks all over him. Hisoka may act like he doesn’t care but he does. He just doesn’t want to hurt Azuma’s feelings.

Though he says that, can he really put his feelings in danger for that long?

Feeling like he’s working on a shift, Hisoka doesn’t even think this relationship is real anymore. Not even close to real. Was it from the beginning? Thinking about it, Hisoka doesn’t feel like it was real from the beginning. Hisoka was just playing along, hoping that Azuma would simply shrug off the other boys and look at Hisoka only. That was obviously not true. It’s clear. It’s evident in how he gets angry and unsatisfied by Hisoka’s bitter personality when others are with Azuma.

It’s not worth putting himself in that much danger anymore.

Getting others to fight for Azuma’s attention, is Azuma willing to bear the responsibility if something bad happens? It’s not like Azuma is  _ accidentally _ leading them on. Azuma is clearly toying with people’s feelings. Hisoka included. He’s getting tired.  _ Really tired _ .

“So you want us to just break up?”

Though Azuma sounds at loss, his tone doesn’t sound that apologetic. How crude, Hisoka thought as he stared at Azuma’s hands. He’s getting defensive. Don’t call Azuma out for wanting this type of thing. What’s wrong with open relationships? Can’t handle it? That’s Hisoka’s problem not Azuma’s. Hisoka shouldn’t blame Azuma for not being able to handle the idea of what an open relationship is like. Really, it’s Hisoka that was unprepared. Azuma doesn’t want to be painted as the bad guy.

Hisoka shakes his head. To be honest, Hisoka doesn’t know who’s the bad guy here. Maybe Hisoka is a wuss for not being able to handle the idea that Azuma doesn’t only sleep and play with Hisoka. Maybe Hisoka is looking too deep into the gestures Homare does to Azuma when they’re next to each other. Maybe Hisoka is thinking too much when he sees Azuma laugh with Guy. Maybe Hisoka is misplacing his feelings and thinking irrationally when he sees anyone else  _ but _ Hisoka touches Azuma like that. Hisoka doesn’t know.

All Hisoka knows is that he’s uncomfortable. He doesn’t know  _ why _ he’s uncomfortable but he knows he hates that feeling. Maybe he’s selfish. Maybe he isn’t. He doesn’t feel that way when Misumi is next to Azuma, though. He doesn’t feel like that when Kazunari slings his arm around Azuma or when Omi and Azuma go out together. It’s just  _ them _ . Just those boys that keep touching Azuma like they’re dating Azuma too.

Is it cheating? Hisoka doesn’t know anymore. This constant change of labels that Azuma hands him without notice, Hisoka has lost track of what their relationship is supposed to be.

What a shame.

“I don’t think we’re cut out at all―”

Azuma gives him a face with emotions that Hisoka doesn’t entirely recognise. The only one Hisoka can pick out is some form of fear. Why is that? Why is it only now that Azuma is acting like he  _ genuinely _ loves Hisoka?

“―I feel like I’ll put the troupe at risk if we continue any further.”

It’s not worth it. Sure, Hisoka loves Azuma but a part of him pities Winter Troupe. What if these feelings he has towards Guy, Homare, and Tasuku get in the way? Wouldn’t it just make the entire troupe crumble? Hisoka is not willing to torture Tsumugi and Izumi like that. Hisoka doesn’t want to hurt the company. They don’t deserve that at all.

Even then, isn’t this conversation already leaving a dent? Surely, the others would catch on. Hisoka doesn’t want to get in trouble. If the dent is too obvious, Hisoka will get scolded. Hisoka knows Azuma will be free from that scolding. No one dares to hurt the ever-so-kind Yukishiro Azuma, right? Not to mention, Tasuku and Homare might push Hisoka into the blame. Guy might not but those two? They might. Hisoka is awful to them. He wouldn’t be surprised if they take this as a chance to become closer to Azuma.

Hisoka sighs.

A dent is a dent, no matter how one looks at it. Be it small or big. It’s a  _ dent _ . There’s all to it. Hisoka can’t avoid the agitated air whenever practice starts. Hisoka can’t avoid the cold shoulder he is given whenever he has to be involved with Azuma. It’s just  _ impossible _ .

That fact alone is driving him crazy.

It’s obvious others are picking up on this growing agitation. It’s obvious. Azuma and Hisoka were  _ inseparable _ . It was impossible to find either of them showing any sense of dislike towards each other.  _ Yet _ , here they are, clearly uncomfortable at the sight of each other.  _ Clearly _ , not making any effort to fix this relationship that they had just decided isn’t worth keeping anymore.

Typically, Azuma is shielded from this kind of situation. At least, he  _ tries _ to shield himself and quickly let go of his responsibilities, he’s quick to claim that he’s not at fault.

How could he not? That’s just how Azuma gets out of every single one of his situations.

_ “I’m not at fault―how could I be? _ ”

That alone somehow leaves a bitter taste in Hisoka’s mouth. Simply thinking about his list of reasons as to why he’s never at fault is already making Hisoka tired. It’s almost automatic to think about how maybe the others will quickly reassure Azuma that he isn’t at fault. After all, Azuma can never do anything wrong. He’s  _ Yukishiro Azuma _ ―What kind of evil thing can he do?

Hisoka is making it clear that  _ that favourite spot _ on Azuma’s list of boys is vacant, isn’t he?

It shouldn’t bother Hisoka but he’s just afraid he’s already tipping the entire troupe over for doing such a selfish thing. Is it selfish? Hisoka wonders. He doesn’t think so but yet, it feels as though it is.

With the way the other members are staring at each other with perplexed faces, it seems most of them are curious about the situation. After all, to willingly leave such a spot open―Is Hisoka crazy? What a spoilt brat.

“I don’t think problems work that way―Not everyone is out to get you, Azuma-san.”

Tsumugi clearly looks disappointed in the troupe. It’s kind of scary seeing him give such a stern stare, fully aware of the mess that has been made. Usually, these scenes would come from Homare or maybe Tasuku,  _ rarely _ Tsumugi would show this kind of cold side. Winter Troupe really fucked up, huh?

  
  
  


_ Cold. _

  
  
  


_ Hisoka really wished things didn’t turn out this way. _

  
  
  


_ Sorry, Tsumugi. _

  
  
  


_ They didn’t take into account Tsumugi’s feelings at all. _

  
  
  


Tsumugi is tired. It’s clear how he sounds like he’s going to cry over how little care Winter Troupe actually has for the troupe. There’s no point in cutting Tsumugi off―It’s true, isn’t it?

Azuma doesn’t care enough about the troupe nor the company hence why he’s casually messing around with others. Not giving a damn about how this could potentially ruin how everyone views each other. Not sparing a thought on the consequences he’ll have to face if Winter Troupe or Mankai break apart over a fucking pathetic reason. Of course, Azuma doesn’t care―If it isn’t about himself,  _ why should he care? _

It’s not just Azuma’s fault, though.

The others are too. Tasuku claims to have his head filled with theater but it clearly isn’t anymore. Tsumugi feels a little betrayed, to be honest. To think Tasuku could be irresponsible like this, Tsumugi must’ve had too much faith in him. How embarrassing, honestly. Homare and Guy are no better either. Didn’t Homare mention how all of Winter Troupe are soulmates? What happened there? Did Homare get too caught up in Azuma alone to forget what Winter Troupe were supposed to be? Saying such things is just pathetic to do, at this point. Guy is the same. No matter how much reassurance Guy can give, Tsumugi feels like Guy is just simply stalling Tsumugi from ever finding out.

“ _ Soulmates, lovers, marriage―I really wish you guys would stop saying all of that junk. _ ”

Azuma is silent. Tasuku too. Guy as well. Hisoka wishes he could laugh at how quiet and still Homare is but he can’t. There’s just nothing for all of them to say. What can they say? What can they do? They can’t apologize. That won’t fix the situation at all. If they try to argue it out, everyone else in the company will know. What’s the point of arguing about it, though? Tsumugi is right. They’re just pathetic, at this point.

It can’t be helped.

Azuma makes the same face he made when Hisoka didn’t want to be associated with Azuma like that anymore. A sense of fear and discomfort is displayed on that pretty face of his. There’s some form of anger too. How dare Tsumugi scorn Azuma like that. Poking at Azuma’s insecurities, like his feelings don’t matter at all. Hisoka wonders if Azuma can understand why Tsumugi feels so angry and disappointed by Azuma’s actions.

A part of him doubts it.

Sakyo finds out. Banri too. Chikage seemed the least surprised but it didn't stop him from flinching at Tsumugi’s cruel words. Sakyo and Chikage get grilled to death while Banri barely makes it alive. The only reason Tsumugi spares Banri is that he admits that he understands how alluring Azuma’s attention can be, but it doesn’t change the fact that attempting to butt heads with the other members over someone is hilariously stupid of Banri to do. Though, it can’t be helped. Banri is young. People like Azuma like how naive he is.

Though Hisoka understands why Tsumugi is angry and bitter, why is a part of him still siding with Azuma?

Does a part of him believe that maybe Azuma will come to the realisation that he doesn’t need everyone’s attention? Does a part of him believe that Azuma will let go of everyone else and maybe come back to Hisoka? Is a part of him  _ that _ desperate, he’s willing to let go all sense and stupidly side with Azuma? Even though it's clear others are starting to re-evaluate what they’re doing. 

Though Hisoka says that, he doesn’t know if the others will relapse just as quickly as Hisoka. Nobody knows how likely Azuma will change. Nobody knows if Azuma is actually as remorseful as he’s putting himself out to be. All they know is that Azuma’s remorse wasn’t  _ enough _ .

Just like what Azuma does to Hisoka whenever he throws a fit, he’s simply remorseful to keep Tsumugi’s mouth shut.

Unlike Hisoka who falls for that stupid trick all the time, Tsumugi draws the line and leaves. Nothing came out of his mouth, Tsumugi simply just stood up and left in the midst of Azuma’s tears. Not sparing a single glance at anyone, he simply said his goodbyes at the door and left silently.

  
That may be the first time Hisoka has ever seen Azuma  _ regret _ .

**Author's Note:**

> What happened to Tsumugi in the end? What happened to Mankai in the end? Will Azuma remain this way??  
> That's for _you_ to decide  
> not going to lie I was tempted to tag that part as azutsumu but my hand told me not to bc I'm just lying to myself and my friend ) :  
> I actually did try to turn this into a positive ending but _god_ , if i wanna be frank, it is almost impossible to turn a situation to a positive ending--you just can't and honestly that's unfortunate (esp for me, the author who ships some of these ships lmao)  
> anyway I hope you had fun!!  
> As always, thank you for reading!!  
> (If you want, you can follow me on twt on [@drunkossan](https://twitter.com/drunkossan))


End file.
